396 photos merged into one image using the lighten blending mode in photoshop. I think this one pretty much covers the colour spectrum of sunsets, lacking only the darker reds. I can’t get enough of this technique!
I’m sick and tired of not being important to anyone. My family’s life revolves around my precious perfect angel of a little brother. Today marks the fourth time that my mom has told me to drive all the way to Northwood High to pick him up just to find out when i get there that he is going to weightlifting, and that I have to drive home alone. I could have spent that time studying or doing homework, but I thought it would be nice to give my mom a break. Ive spent countless hours of my time doing things for him and for my parents and I get no appreciation. I just get yelled at or disregarded. Everything that my brother accomplishes is wonderful in my parents eyes, and they talk and talk and talk about it. When I accomplish something, their fake happiness and interest hits me like a bus. They try to give a fuck about me, but the truth is they give way more fucks about Conner because hey, he’s just as good at everything I am, and then some. Who wants someone like me, someone that is good at nothing but making good grades. Every conversation between my parents and anyone ever is about Conner, Conner, Conner. Once I am gone, nothing will change. On top of that I have to painfully see my grandpa suffer from a nasty brain tumor and helplessly watch as he deteriorates. He has less than a year. I am completely stressed about school when I should be happy that I am graduating. So much has changed so quickly. Im terrified to go to college. I constantly have a dark cloud over my shoulders preventing me from being happy and calm. I feel like I can never do anything right, and that no one understands my good intentions, they only see the bad in me. I’m nothing to anyone. I am a very fortunate person with little hardships in my life, my parents provide for me financially and Im going to a good school and a good college, yet all of the things I know that I should be happy about are buried under this heavy cloud of depression that I frequently experience when I am stressed. I’m tired of having no one love me. And when I say love, i mean truly love me. I’m sick and tired of caring about people when all they do is hurt me. I have lost some of my closest friends in these past few months. I wish that everything would stop changing just for one second and that I could have time to breathe. I’m thankful for the ones who have stuck by my side. I just wish I was not me. I wish I could be someone that doesn’t constantly feel anxious, sad, and angry all the time and not even know why. I’m tired of being the ugly fat girl that has friends who say she’s pretty solely because the truth hurts. I know I’m young, but I truly feel so alone. I try to be happy and when I’m distracted I feel great, but lately this dark cloud has been murdering my attempts at happiness. I don’t know how much longer I can even deal with this stress and pain. I’m sick and tired of trying and always failing. I’m sick of being here, and I’m sick of who I am. I just wish that everything would stop. And if you’re reading this, you’re one of the few people who follows me on tumblr and I apologize for this rant.